Aang's Greatest Challenge
by GrandiloquentCosanguity
Summary: Aang thought that his impressive bending skills and gentle nature would be enough to win Katara's heart. He was wrong. Now he must face his greatest enemy and conquer it before he loses Katara forver. Kataang FTW!
1. Aang and Sokka face insecurities

**A/N: Avatar belongs to Mike, Bryan, and Nickelodeon. Puberty belongs to adolescents everywhere; even though they wish they didn't own it.**

Wasn't that awesome guys? Wasn't it awesome when I became a really great swordsman in the span of 24 hours? I was all like...whoosh and CLANG and thrust..."

"Sokka would you shut up!" Katara had heard enough. They had been flying on Appa's back for the past five hours and Sokka had been relaying his day to them. She was a little sick of it. 

"Don't yell at me! I can't help my sweet natural talent!" he preened, but he sensed he better lay off the awesome swordsmanship for a while. 

The silence allowed Katara to better enjoy Aang's shirtless physique. She wasn't sure why he had been going shirtless so much lately but she found she could really care less. Sure, he was much shorter and younger than her, but he looked FINE!

"So enough about sword fighting," said Sokka, interrupting Katara's fantasies involving Aang and a lot of pink snow. "Nobody has even complimented me on my impressive artistic knowledge. Now I can paint, arrange rocks, recite poetry, and emote on a level only Zuko was able to. I mean, come on, chicks love the artsy guys." But his face fell as he examined his clothing. "I think I need a scarf and some skinny jeans though." 

Katara took a deep breath so she could yell at him for the longest possible time without having to stop for a little necessity called "air" when Aang stepped in. 

"Guys, calm down. Katara, be happy for Sokka and his new found joy. Sokka you should SHuT uP." There was a pregnant pause as the group looked at him. 

Aang cleared his throat. "I mean, PleASe ShuT uP." His face turned read as he looked at the others. They looked like they were trying not to laugh in his face. 

This was ridiculous he could control three elements - and was going to learn a forth as soon as he could find a fire bending teacher that wasn't a total asshole - he was going to save the world, he was the freaking Avatar! So why couldn't he control the inflection of his voice? 

The other members of his group seemed to have temporarily forgotten his vocal agility and were ignoring his deep seeded confusion. 

"Sokka, what are you doing?" Toph asked when he bumped into her. 

"I'm getting out the schedule so I can see if we have time for a quick shopping excursion." Aang felt the scroll hit his leg as it unrolled but didn't care. Something was very wrong. This wasn't the first time his voice had gone squeaky on him but it was the first time he hadn't been able to hide it from the others. 

"There's no way we can afford to take a day to shop!" seethed Katara. 

"Not a day Katara, just a few hours! Do you NOT want me to embrace my new found awesomeness? Do you WANT me to feel inadequate next to you and all of your freakiness?!" 

"Freakiness? What are you talking about?" 

Sokka put his face in his hands and said in a small, defeated voice, "Katara, you guys can all bend some element or another. Aang can even bend three, possibly four. And he seems to be able to bend his voice." 

"HeY!"

"Sorry Aang. It's just that I want to feel special too." 

Katara looked at him bewildered. "Didn't we just have this discussion? I think it was right before you went and got a sword made out of space earth and learned to kill things with it." 

Sokka shook his head, bemused. "Katara, Katara. That was yesterday. Today has dawned anew and I feel the need for jeans so tight that I bulge in all the right places." 

Toph's head snapped up at this. "Yeah, let's get him the jeans," she cried. 

"Why thank you Toph. See Katara, somebody else understands how attractive I'll look in - hey! Toph you can't see what I'm wearing! Why do you care?" 

"Sokka, we've been through this. I may not be able to see with my eyes, but I can see better than anyone with my feet. And in the case of your jeans, I may need to use my hands to see too."

Sokka's jaw dropped and looked over at Katara who was silently fuming at her brother's stupidity. But he quickly snapped out of it and said, "Okay, that's two for and one against. Aang? Do you think we can stop?" 

Aang sat there and pondered for a moment, thinking. Shopping with Sokka always took awhile, but it might afford him some time to look for some ointment to lube up his vocal chords so they wouldn't crack. "I'm with Sokka," Aang said, carefully avoiding Katara's eyes, "Shopping sounds good to mE!" 

Aang clutched at his treacherous throat as Sokka raised his new sword of stupendousness above his head and yelled, "To the Fire Nation Outlet Mall!"


	2. Am I a monster?

**A/N: Male puberty can be somewhat of a sticky subject, so we are treading as delicately as two witty females can.**

**Avatar belongs to Mike, Bryan and Nickelodeon.**

Aang sighed. The trip to the mall had been unproductive and somewhat humiliating. Sokka had bought his tight jeans and insisted on wearing them as they set up camp and got ready for bed. Toph was following him around and kept "losing her balance" as she grabbed various parts of Sokka over and over again. Katara was glaring at everything within a fifteen yard distance and not speaking to the three of them. This had been one sucky day.

While shopping Katara had insisted on following Aang around which had made it somewhat awkward when he had gone into a shop he thought might have the answers to his problems. Katara had asked over and over again why they were there and then, seeing the other two members of their group walk by, insisted they join them as well. At that point Aang had lost it and told them to all to leave him alone for a minute. This is what had upset Katara.

Aang hated to see her upset, but there was no way he was going to discuss his man problems with the girl who made some of those problems more apparent. Best to pretend he didn't wake up sticky almost ever morning.

And when the other three had left him alone, he was able to quick grab a bottle of "ManVoice: From Falsetto to Fire Lord in Five Days." He turned the bottle over and read, "Tired of not being the master of your own destiny because your voice fluctuates? Ready to do something about it? Simply take one tablespoon twice a day for five days. Soon your voice will be so smooth that it will melt butter. So deep that it will cause earthquakes. And so manly that you will have to beat the ladies off with a stick."

_Sounds exactly like what I need_ he thought as he cast a furtive glance at Katara. He tried to uncork the bottle, but found that it was stuck. He tried to get a better grip on the cork and tugged, but it was like the cork was welded to the bottle. "Oh no you don't," he muttered while shaking the bottle, "I went through a lot today to get you. I need you to open so I can sweep Katara off her feet. I think she might be a lot less moody if my voice was awesome."

But the bottle remained tightly plugged. Aang could swear he heard it laughing at him - a deep, manly rumble of a laugh. "ThAT's iT!" he yelled and he blew gust of wind at it with his air bending skills. Then he watched in horror as the bottle flew into the air and started falling back down, end over end, until it burst on the ground by his feet. As it shattered a dark green, viscous liquid bubbled out and splashed all over his pants.

Aang looked down at the green goo that assaulted him and he wanted to cry. This had been his last hope. He reached down to try to clean his pants off and try to salvage enough medicine to make his voice behave, but all he managed to do was make the mess worse. His hand was glowing and it looked like the material of his pants was slowly being eaten away. He needed to wash himself off, fast. 

Remembering the stream running by their campsite, he took off. His friends all looked up as he ran past, green liquid flying off of him and onto everything else. Sokka reached down and touched a drop that had landed on his new tight jeans that, in his opinion, made his ass look hot.

"What is this stuff?" he asked and promptly put it in his mouth. Instantly his gag reflex engaged, trying to force the offending goo back out. "GAAAAAAAAAAAH! This is disgusting! It tastes like I kissed a bat toad.

"How do you know what a bat toad tastes like when you kiss it?" Toph asked with a sly grin.

"Oh, I, uh... well I - mumblemumbleKataramumbleforcedmumbleprincessmumblefrog."

"What?"

"Katara used to make me play princess with her, and I was always the one who had to kiss the bat toads to see if they were princes," he muttered while inspecting the part of his jeans where the goop had landed.

Toph's mouth hung open. She stuck out her hand in the direction of Sokka's pants and swiped it over his thigh. "What was that for?" Sokka asked.

"Just checking."

"Don't forget to tell her what your name was," called Katara from her spot by the fire.

"Katara!"

"You had a name? What was it?"

"I don't remember!"

"Sokka, how could you forget? As I recalled it took you a few days to come up with a name that was good enough for you," said Katara with an evil glint in her eye.

The color drained from Sokka's face. "You wouldn't."

"As I recall it had to have the perfect blend of sweet girlish innocence and tough warrior pride. Let's see, what was it?"

Sokka started backing towards the stream. "I think I'm going to go wash this stuff off my pants so they won't stain." And he took off running.

Just as he was rounding the corner he heard Katara yell, "Oh yes, now I remember! It was Princess Rosebud Kitten Dewdrop Sharp Thing Gladiator!"

Stripping down Aang jumped into the water before whatever it was could reach his sensitive skin. He started to scrub away until he noticed something. Something that hadn't been there before the spill. His body was getting hairy. He was turning into a monster.

Well there was only one thing to do. Sitting in the shallows, he closed his eyes and started taking long, deep breaths. Suddenly his tattoos began to light up and when he opened his eyes he was in the spirit world. And standing in front of him was Avatar Roku.

"Aang? What is wrong?" Roku quirked an eyebrow as he gazed down at the young Avatar. "Has Zuko been picking on you again?"

"I told you, it was more than picking! He tried to fry me to a crisp! But that's not why I'm here. Avatar Roku I think... I think I'm turning into a monster."

Roku's expression turned grave immediately. He bent down and gripped Aang's arm in a vice like grip. "Why do you think that?"

Aang looked up into the wizened face, hoping that Roku could give him the answers he sought. "Well, I'm sure you noticed that I'm sporting some hair on my head."

"Yes," admitted Roku, although his puzzled look deepened.

"I've never had hair before," said Aang "and I think there's a reason behind that. I think the monks were protecting me from myself. Because I think the hair on my head has triggered something in me, and now I'm growing hair EverYWheRE!"

"Everywhere? But I don't see any other hair than on your head," said Roku.

"It's hidden... down here," stammered Aang as he waved his hand at the area between his legs.

Roku's head snapped back and he took a few steps back. "Well that's - you see - you're not - you don't have to worry Aang, you're not turning into a monster."

"i'M NOt?"

"No."

"Then what -"

Before Aang could finish, Roku had started running away. He looked back and called over his shoulder, "I'm sorry Aang! I have to go! I forgot I had something important I needed to do somewhere that isn't here. Good luck!"

"BuT! WAiT! What'S haPpenInG TO mE?"


	3. Smells like Teen Spirit

**A/N: Avatar belongs to Mike, Bryan, and Nickelodeon. The description for Elemental Body Oil actually belongs to Axe Body Spray, so does the unmistakable smell.**

Aang stared at the empty space where his past life had just stood. This had not gone as well as he had hoped it would. Sighing, he considered his options. He could go around the spirit world hoping that Roku would come out of hiding, he could try and find someone else in this stupid place that could tell him what was going on, or he could go back to his dumb body and try to live the rest of his life out as part ape-bear.

Roku had told him he wasn't turning into a monster so that probably meant he could go back and not worry about killing anyone in their sleep. _Or_, thought Aang, _I could live here forever and ever and never worry about my body again_. This idea sounded pretty good to him, and he started wondering if he would have to start eating rock moss or if he would need to eat at all for that matter, when he remembered he was supposed to save the world.

"Damn FiRE NatioN." He squeaked out as he returned to his body. As he became aware of the world around him he noticed he was no longer alone. Sokka was muttering to himself and rubbing at his pants with stream water. He glanced up from his work and saw Aang was no longer in the Avatar state.

"Hey Aang. When did you start doing that naked? Also, when you're naked here are you naked in the spirit world too?"

"WHy are you sO IntereSTEd in my NakedNESS SoKKa?" he asked turning a bright red.

"I'm not. I'm just naturally curious." Sokka scrubbed harder. "And why won't this damn stuff come off?!" Looking up at Aang he asked, "What was that goo you were throwing around earlier?"

Aang debated whether or not to tell Sokka his troubles. Roku didn't seem to take it all that well. Then again, Roku was pretty old. Sokka seemed to know what was what. He always had a girlfriend or five. "Well, Sokka I actually wanted to ask you a question."

"Okay. What is it?" Sokka asked as he gently caressed the clean denim of his jeans.

"Um, I've started to grow some -"

"UGH! What is that horrible smell?" interrupted Sokka, holding his hand over his nose.

Aang hadn't noticed a smell before, but come to think of it, it did kind of reek. Maybe the stream wasn't as clean as he thought. He bent his head down to sniff the water, but no, that smelled just fine. Maybe it was the goo that was still on his pants. No, that smelled like mangos. Had something died in the area? As he scanned the trees around them looking for a carcass he noticed Sokka had grown silent and was staring at him. "Aang...I think it's you."

Aang's eyes grew wide at the accusation. "Why wouLD you thINk it's me!?"

"All the fish in your part of the stream are trying to beach themselves." Aang looked around him and, for the first time, noticed the unnatural amount of suicidal fish.

"GrEAt! ThAT's JuST pErFeCT!" Aang steamed. "First the vOiCe, then the HaIR, and now tHIS!"

Sokka, misinterpreting the hair reference, ruffled Aang's head hair. "Don't get so upset; your hair looks fantastic. Not as fantastic as mine, of course, but still good looking. Are you upset because it itches?"

Aang hadn't really thought about it before, but now it seemed like he could feel every hair slowly growing out of his skin. It felt like he was being eaten by fire ants. He quickly got waist deep in the stream, so he could have a nice long scratch.

Sokka stared, nonplussed. "Uh, Aang, that's the kind of stuff we do in private." He tore off a few strips of his shirt, stuffed them up his nose, looked at his reflection in the water, and started redoing his ponytail. "But about that smell. Were they boiling eggs in the spirit world today or something? Bathing in the goo of dead bodies? Doing something so utterly repulsive that the stench of their deeds lingered as you crossed back over? Because, buddy, you smell awful. Have you been keeping up with your monastic hygiene regiment?"

"Yes," said Aang as he floated around in the stream, "but something's wrong. Maybe I'm geTTing sicK. I'm hot and sweaty most of the time and my stomach feels fuNNY."

Sokka started pacing the shoreline keeping even with Aang. "I haven't noticed you acting sick. And I'm usually the first one to catch anything contagious. First my immune system acts all weak and scared, lulling the germs into a false sense of security. The germs come and try to take up residence in my fine bod and then POW! My immune system tackles the germs to the ground and pulverizes them into smithereens! And then all the female immune cells are all like, "Oooh, Sokka's Immune Cells, you are so fine and strong and manly. We want to get with you and -"

"SoKkA!"

"Oh... right. So when did you start feeling ill?"

"I don't know. I don't always feel ill. It cOMes and goes. I feel it mostly when I'm around KAtARa, or thinking abouT Katara, or dreAMinG about Katara, or I can't sEE her, but I can sMell her, or I see soMEOne that reminds me of KATAra, but then they turN around and I realize it's an old man with oNe leg..."

"Dude! That's my sister!" said Sokka as he waded into the water. He grabbed a hold of Aang's shoulders and shook him. "Why in the world would you get all hot and bothered by her? She's moody, and half the time I think she secretly likes Zuko."

"SHe dOEs NOt!" Aang flailed around. His arms were rather ineffectual in hitting Sokka, but his body odor made up for that. Sokka let go, his eyes watering, and made his way back to the shore.

"Look man, you need some help. First, you need to focus your attention on something other than Miss Moodypants. Second, you need something to mask up that smell. I have just the thing in my bag. Don't go anywhere." He turned and ran back towards the campsite.

Aang sighed and then started collecting the dead fish for dinner. No sense in letting them go to waste.

* * *

Sokka ran into camp and went straight to his sleeping bag, ignoring the two females sitting around a freshly made fire. Katara threw Toph a look as Sokka started throwing his things around and muttering to himself. "I know I have it somewhere..."

"What's he doing?" Toph asked Katara in a low voice.

"I have no idea." She glared "SOKKA!" Sokka jumped at the sound of his sisters' loud motherly voice.

"Katara," he whined still rummaging through his things "I don't have time for this. Aang needs my help. I'm his only hope."

"Something's wrong with Aang? Is there anything I can do to help?" Katara was worried.

"Yes, something is wrong with Aang, and for once I am the one who can make it better. To improve his quality of life. To make him glad he's lived another day...Aaaha!" Sokka held a can up into the fire light triumphantly.

"What is he doing? Why did he just 'Aaaha'?" Toph asked looking confused.

"I have no idea, but he better explain what's wrong with Aang soon before I -"

"Katara, let me handle this," Sokka held the can to his side as he started back to Aang. He stopped just outside the circle of trees, narrowed his eyes, and turned back to Katara. "You want to help, stay away from him. Also stop looking like an old man with one leg. Also stop smelling."

Katara was still looking for a good sized rock to throw at him as Sokka disappeared into the trees.

* * *

Sokka returned to find Aang listlessly floating in the stream, halfheartedly scrubbing his skin. But when he saw Sokka, a huge grin spread over his face and he used a huge air gust to send him back to the shore. He hastily pulled on his pants while asking, "So what did you go and GEt?"

"This," said Sokka, producing the can from behind his back, "Elemental Body Oil." He began to read the description, "'When you wear your favorite scent of Elemental Body Oil on any of your male hot zones (a.k.a. your body), your new and improved male musk is released into the atmosphere, quickly reaching nearby females. This is exciting, as quasi-scientific research has proven women like men who smell good.'"

Sokka gave the can a good shake, "And in your case Aang, everyone would appreciate it if you didn't smell of soured milk." He carefully removed the lid.

Immediately Aang's nose picked up the unmistakable scent of good smelling manliness. His eyes slid out of focus as he imagined himself on the beach surrounded by thousands of girls fawning all over him. In a trance he snatched the bottle out of Sokka's hand and raised it to his nose, a look of pure ecstasy written across his features.

Sokka watched all this with a knowing smile. He slapped Aang on the back and started to back out of the clearing, "I'll leave you a moment alone to get acquainted." Aang didn't even hear him.

He tipped the can and poured a generous amount of oil into his hands. Then he started rubbing them over every inch of his body he could reach. Just to make sure he was extra covered he put on another extra thick layer. He was feeling manly. Temporarily forgetting about voice issues and new hairy problem he became focused on how awesome he smelled.

He put the cap back on the bottle and marched back to the campfire. Nostrils started to flare. "What smells cheap?" Toph asked plugging her nose with her fingers.

"I don't know, but it's really giving me a headache." Katara put her hand over the bottom part of her face trying to filter out whatever was assaulting her sense of smell.

"It doesn't maKE you wANt to thROW yourselves at the clOSEst available MAle?" Aang asked slowly slipping closer to Katara.

"NO! Oh spirits...it's getting closer! I think my nose hair is burning off!" Katara made a dry heaving sound.

"Hey!" Sokka yelled "It doesn't smell bad. It smells like manly manliness. It makes me want to go out and kill meat with my bare hands." Aang went white at the thought of his smell making people want to kill animals.

Sokka put his arm around Aang and led him off for a private word, "But just between me and you, Aang - I think you need to ease up on the amount of oil you use. Less is more and all that."

"Really? WeLL how much do yOU use?"

"Psht! You think I use Elemental Body Oil? That's kids stuff," Sokka said superiorly. "My needs require something a little more manly and refined. Something like Mystic Wave: The Cologne for Water Warriors," and he pulled a small container out of his tunic.

"Well why didn't you JuSt give me soME of tHat?"

Sokka looked shocked. "You've got to crawl before you walk my dear air bender. You think I'm going to start you off with the big boys' juice? In your state you wouldn't even know what to do with it. No, you just start out with the Elemental and in a few years we'll see if you can handle more." He walked off chuckling and muttering, "Thinks he's ready for the Mystic Wave!"

Aang trudged back to the stream for his third bath of the night. As he walked he couldn't help but reach down and scratch the itchiness he had temporarily forgotten. It was a cruel reminder of the past forty-eight hours. First his voice, then this hair, seeing Katara every where and to top it all off he smelled like the back end of Appa. Roku had said he wasn't turning into a monster...then what was he turning into?


	4. I'll get you yet, Avatar!

**A/N: We know that normal puberty is not all this horrific, but Aang is not a normal boy. The Puberty of the Avatar is more concentrated and ridiculous. We only laugh to keep from crying. We each have our own horror stories from when we went through "the change of life."**

**As always, Avatar belongs to Mike, Bryan, and Nickelodeon.**

"I'm bored," Mai said. She was arm-in-arm with Zuko as they walked through the Fire Nation Outlet Mall. People scattered in their wake.

"I know. You've been saying that since we got here," growled Zuko. He was in a worse mood than normal. He was bored too, but there wasn't any sense in having a bored competition with Mai - she always won.

"Tell me why we're here again?"

"How should I know?" he asked. "Ty Lee wanted to come, and she's your friend, not mine. I just hang out with her because I have no friends of my own." It was true. It was hard being friends with someone as emo as Zuko - no matter how hot he was.

Suddenly Ty Lee appeared on his other side. She was grinning from ear to ear. "Hi! Have you guys found anything exciting to buy?"

"No," they replied in unison.

A slight crease formed between Ty Lee's eyebrows. Honestly, it sometimes was hard to enjoy being around these two. Now that they were dating, they were attached at the hip. And it was kind of frustrating to be around them. Not in a "oh they are so mushy and cute" kind of way. More in a "What the hell, Mike and Bryan? Who thought it would be a good idea to pair these two together? Zuko used to be kind of badass, but now he's just angsty with a blah girlfriend tied around his neck" kind of way.

Ty Lee tried to shrug off her consternation. She had thought it would be a good idea to get out and do something. They hadn't had any real fun since getting back from Ember Island. It was seriously blocking her chi.

But today her chi felt clean, fresh and lightly aired. Perhaps it was because it was such a gorgeous day. Perhaps it was because they were at the mall. Perhaps it was because she had just gotten the cutest dress marked off 75. Or perhaps it was because Azula had opted to stay home and plan extremely Machiavellian plots. Whatever the reason, it was good to be out and she'd be damned if she let Maiko ruin her fun. "Well, I am going to go into Fiery Femme Fatale and see if they have any cute shoes. I'll see you two later."

"Whatever," Mai said as she heaved a big sigh that seemed to suck Zuko's soul out of his body. "So what are we going to do now?"

"I don't care. What do you want to do?" Zuko scratched his leg while Mai rolled her eyes.

"This is totally unproductive. Let's at least go to the food court. Maybe buying food will make this trip not such a waste of our time." Mai started directing him to the small part of the mall dedicated to clogged arteries. As they drew closer, Zuko's attention was drawn to a small group of mall patrons off to the side. They seemed familiar, but he couldn't place how he knew them.

"But Katara! I need to wear my new pants around the mall! How can people ogle me if I don't?"

"Sokka, we're trying to NOT draw attention to ourselves!"

"You're just sore because Aang kicked you out of that store he was in."

"I AM NOT!!!"

"Yes, you are. The whole ground is trembling with your rage."

"STAY OUT OF THIS TOPH!"

Zuko couldn't believe his ears. The Avatar was here? At the Outlet Mall? And his loser friends were doing a pretty poor job of keeping it a secret. He stole closer to get a better look at the waterbender, her brother, and the blind earthbender. Hmm, they looked the same, and yet different. First off, they had managed to find some Fire Nation clothing. And the boy seemed to have stopped shaving the sides of his head. And the waterbender was wearing her filthy hair just like his mother had!

Zuko felt his rage stir at the memory of his mother. He had to close his eyes and practice some of Ty Lee's breathing exercises to keep himself from hurling fire at the Water Tribe brats.

But just as he had collecting himself, the Avatar came around the corner, clutching a small bottle in his hand.

"ArE WE reADy tO gO?"

"Yes! I got my jeans, and apparently I can't wear them until I'm away from all the ladies."

"What are Katara and I? Goat fish?"

"Come on Toph, you can't actually see me, and if Katara lusted after me and my tight jeans then we'd have a pretty big problem on our hands."

"What's in the bottle, Aang?"

"Oh, nothing."

"It doesn't look like nothing to me. It has to be something pretty important if you didn't want me with you when you bought it."

"Well, sometimes a guy has to shop alone Katara."

"Why? Girls don't shop alone. Unless they are buying presents for someone. Is that why you didn't want me around? Because you were buying me a present?"

"... No."

"THAT'S IT! WE'RE LEAVING!"

Zuko watched as the small group headed for the exit, most of them pouting. He had to admit he was surprised to see the Avatar with hair. In fact, if his friends hadn't screamed his name a few times he might not even have known who it was. He had to go after them. He and his father had been getting along so well these past few weeks. They hadn't tried to fight to the death once. Zuko started to wheeze as he considered his father finding out Aang was still alive. He really didn't look forward to more facial scarring.

"Oh, gross Zuko." Damn, he had forgotten about his girlfriend. A girlfriend who was not into his wheezing apparently. "That's disgusting, you're all flemmy." He had to lose Mai.

"Mai..."

"Stop Zuko. Look, I like you and all, but I really don't want to be around you when it sounds like you're going to hack something up." She took a small step away from him. "Listen, why don't you go to the bathroom, take care of whatever it is you need to take care of, and come back and buy me some food." His eyes narrowed as he considered his options. There was a window in the bathroom.

"Sure Mai. Sorry about this." He hacked some more for effect. "I don't know what's come over me. You grab a seat and I'll be back." Turning Zuko took off towards the bathroom while Mai settled down for the longest wait of her life.

* * *

He was riding his giant lizard through the forest below the flying bison. It hadn't been hard to track them. He just had to listen for the sound of Katara's yelling to drift past on the wind.

"...IRRESPONSIBLE... selfish... JEANS... bottle of MYSTERY!"

Just when Zuko (and the kids flying in the air) thought that Katara would never shut up, she did so. Then it was a little trickier to follow without being able to hear them. But soon he heard branches breaking which signified Appa's descent. He dismounted from his lizard and tied it to a tree before creeping closer to their campsite.

When he peered through the bushes, a strange sight met his eyes. The Avatar was sitting dejectedly in a corner. The waterbender was smoldering in another corner. The brother was doing various set up duties in pants so tight that Zuko had to look away in embarrassment. And the earthbender was tripping all over the place. Zuko found this the most unusual because he remembered that the earthbender was very surefooted. It was also odd that whenever she tripped she managed to land on the brother.

His attention was drawn back to the Avatar who was trying to open the small bottle he had purchased at the outlet mall. It seemed to be sealed too tightly. After a few moments of frustration there was a huge gust of wind, the bottle was airborne, and then it crashed with a pile of goo splashing onto the Avatar's pants.

Zuko watched in amusement as the liquid began eating through the material of the Avatar's pants without him noticing. But then he did notice and came running straight toward the bushes Zuko was hiding behind. Zuko just managed to jump out of the way before the Avatar crashed through.

As he ran past, a bit of goo landed on Zuko's tunic. He quickly tried to wipe it off before it could ruin his royal clothes. It smelled strangely of mangos.

Zuko was lost in strange thoughts of mangos for a minute before he managed to pull himself together and remember why he was there. He took a deep calming breath and then started tracking the Avatar to his location. It turned out all his tracking training wasn't really needed as the Avatar wasn't that difficult to find.

Zuko got ready to make his move as he watched the younger boy scrub the offending goo off his body. A few seconds later opportunity hit in the form of the Avatar state. He couldn't believe his good fortune. Finally after all this time he was in luck...unless you counted all those other times he could have killed him but didn't. As he was lost in the thought of his failures the water tribe boy came up.

Zuko weighed his options. He could charge out there and take care of the Avatar and the warrior at the same time, or he could wait for a better time to get the Avatar alone. Besides, he really didn't want to see those tight jeans in battle. _And the Avatar is weirdly related to you_, said a small voice in his head. "Crap, kind of forgot about that," he muttered in response.

He watched as the Avatar returned from the spirit world. Now he was talking to the other guy. Zuko couldn't hear well over the lapping water. He could only hear the occasional squeak coming from the Avatar. He smiled to himself. Bet puberty was a lot more of a bitch when you were supposed to rule all four elements. He wondered if the Avatar's puberty was more dramatic than a normal person's. Although, he thought, _MY puberty was fraught with plenty of drama. I had my face burned off. Try dealing with THAT Mr. Special Avatar!_

Suddenly, as he was in the midst of his musing, a huge odor assaulted his nostrils. As his eyes began to water, he looked back to the stream and saw something he couldn't quite believe. All the fish were floating to the top, dead.

As he crouched behind the bushes and tried to figure out fish death and how to breath only from his mouth, he almost missed the warrior's exit. They were alone. He could go out there right now and finally destroy the Avatar. He couldn't help but notice the stench getting stronger as he carefully made his way through the brush. It started to leak into his orifices.

Things in Zuko's world started to turn a very hot shade of pink. He knew he was in trouble when the dead fish that were in his line of vision started to talk to him. "Who wants to bet he screws this attempt up? What is it? Like your millionth try?"

"I bet he just goes crying to his sister for help, as usual."

"Seriously man. We're dead and we've got more clout than you."

He was getting frustrated; if those damn fish didn't shut up they were going to warn the Avatar of his presence. He wanted to go out and fire bend the hell out of them. Then he started to taste the smell. Trying not to dry heave and also trying not to kick dead fish ass, he finally made a slow retreat. His vision started to clear as he got back to his original hiding place. He was glad to see that those bastardly fish had gone back to being dead. Zuko was smiling smugly at his fishy enemies when the water tribe boy came back and so did Zuko's memories of what he was supposed to be doing. It was going to be a little more difficult if he started dying every time he got near the Avatar's fetid body.

While pondering his imminent death, he noticed that the water tribe boy was handing a bottle to the Avatar. The Avatar's expression was filled with pure bliss as he snatched the bottle and buried his nose in its contents.

And the warrior was leaving! Now was his chance...again.

He began to plug up his nose with strips from his shirt, leaves off nearby bushes, his hair, a naked mole rat wandering by, etc. And then he readied himself for the most important fight of his life. But something was wrong. Another smell was hammering its way through all of his nasal defenses.

"Come on!" Zuko yelled at the sky. He cringed, realizing this was not a good way to remain stealthy. Peeking over his leafy wall, he was glad to see his scream went unnoticed. He was not glad to see that everyone in the vicinity had left. Muttering to himself, he made his way back to the spot he knew the group had set up camp, pulling out all the crap he'd shoved up his nose on the way.

He finally got there and found another bush to hide behind. As he was congratulating himself on his excellent bush finding skills he noticed something. There was the water bender taking deep gasps of air, the earth bender picking her nose, and the idiot laughing to himself. There was no Avatar. Life was just not going Zuko's way.

He heard the Avatar making his way back to the stream. "ARG!" He ran back to the stream just as the Avatar was about to disrobe for another bath. "Screw waiting," Zuko muttered. He burst through the bushes and headed straight for the Avatar, his fists blazing with fire!


	5. Who's your grand daddy?

**A/N: Action is better seen than read. **

**Avatar belongs to Mike, Bryan, and Nickelodeon.**

Aang was scowling as he started his third scrub down of the day. This was getting stupid. He had only made things worse for himself by trying to fix his numerous problems. Not to mention he was pretty sure Sokka was a super sleuth. How else could he have found out about Aang's feelings for Katara? Aang had been priding himself on how cleverly he had been hiding those.

Lost in his emo-like thoughts he missed the heavy stomping coming through the forest in his direction. To say he was surprised by Zuko running at him with his hands on fire would be an understatement.

"ZukOOO!!!???!!!"

Aang generated a huge gust of wind that propelled him into the air and to the bank opposite the angry prince. "What are you doINg here?"Zuko opened his mouth to reply, but Aang cut him off. "Wait that was a StuPiD question. What are you aLWays trying to do? KiLL mE of course."

"Well this time it will stick."

"NoT likELy." And at those words, Aang raised his arms to unleash a can of waterbending whoop ass. But only a small trickle of water lifted into the air and hurled towards Zuko. Aang shook his head, not quite believing his eyes.Zuko smirked as the few drops hit him in the face. He then flung a fire ball straight at Aang's head. Aang tried to blow himself out of the way, but nothing happened. He tried again. A gentle breeze tickled his ear hair. AND THEN IT GOT VERY HOT AS THE FIRE BALL DREW CLOSER!!!!!!! He jumped into the stream just as the fire exploded into a tree that was behind where he was just standing.

Aang lifted himself out of the river, feeling lucky that Zuko had thrown the slowest fire ball ever at him. Something did not feel right. He tried to bend the elements around him. Nothing happened. He tried again, this time screwing up his face in concentration. Nothing happened. His eyes grew wide as the realization that he'd lost his abilities hit him.

Zuko, meanwhile, was looking pissed that Aang had managed to avoid his awesome slow-mo attack. He lit his fists on fire and got ready to go to town on the Avatars' stupid face. Before he could connect, Aang drew in a deep breath and disappeared underwater. Cursing to himself, Zuko dove in after him.

Giving his eyes a second to adjust Zuko managed to make out the wobbly, underwater shape of the Avatar. Aang was only a few yards ahead of him, he could catch up quickly. But then he noticed that Aang was opening his mouth and inhaling the water._Oh no you don't!_ thought Zuko_, You don't get to kill yourself. Not when I'm about to do it for you._ He grabbed Aang around his waist and made for the surface. When he surfaced he took a few steadying breathes and headed for shore. He dragged Aang up onto the bank. Then commenced a few awkward minutes of mouth-to-mouth before Aang vomited stream water. At that point Zuko ignited a small flame on his fingertip and passed it over his lips, trying to burn the memory of mouth to mouth from them. Unfortunately he couldn't burn it from his mind.

Aang stared fuzzily up at Zuko. He started speaking, but Zuko couldn't hear him. He bent closer, but had to hold his nose because Aang still reeked.

"That's just perfECT," Aang whispered, "I can't eVEn escaPe you in deaTH. Do you lurk around the spirit world because you're souLESS on EaRTh?"

Zuko punched Aang's arm, "You're not dead you idiot! At least not yet. Why did you try to kill yourself?" 

Aang turned his head away. "I can't go on liVINg like this. Death must be beTTEr than squeAKy, hairy stinkynESS. I'm TurNing InTO something and I DON't WanT to put the world in MORe DanGER." Zuko rolled his eyes at Aang's overdramatic speech."Are you really that idiotic? Maybe hanging around with that water tribe fool is rubbing off on you...I mean what else could it be? You seemed sane enough all the other times we met - "Zuko continued to rant and Aang felt his frustration with the whole thing start to boil over.

"I'm NoT StuPID! I'm juST COnFused! I meAN what else could it bE?"

Zuko stopped mid speech and looked at Aang. "You really don't know?"

"KnoW WHAt?!""I mean, the not being able to bend thing didn't happen to me but then again..." Aang had had enough by this point. He tried to call up a huge wave of water that would shut the cocky prince up but was quickly reminded of his bending impotence.Zuko scratched his chin and smiled. It was creepy and unnatural to see him smile. Aang wished for death more heartily. But Zuko stood and offered his hand to pull Aang up.Aang looked at him suspiciously, "What? YoU'rE going to WAiT until I'm sTanDIng before you KiLl mE?"

Zuko shook his head, "No, I've decided to help you."

"WHaTTTT?????" 

"Look, my life's been hell ever since I tried to kill you after my moment with the waterbender in the caves under Ba Sing Sei."

"WhAT moMEnT???" 

"And so I'm doing what I guess I should have done then. I'm going to help you out. Now man up, and let's go break the news to your friends." 

Aang picked up his jaw from the ground and snapped his mouth shut. But it just dropped again. He stared at Zuko. There seemed to be a faint shimmer around him. That made him seem more trustworthy somehow. Of course, it could just be the stink waves radiating off Aang's own body. 

"Is this bEcAUse I was your great gRanDadDy in a previous LifE?" 

Before Aang knew what happened, he found him pinned to a tree, Zuko's fist wrapped uncomfortably tight around his throat. 

"Never, EVER mention our freakish relationship again!" Zuko took a calming breath and counted to ten. Letting Aang's air pipe go he glared at the Avatar. "Let's go." 

They made their way through the brush, Aang in front leading him back to the camp. "You know, maybe it'd be better if you stayed here right now. It might be easier to tell them about you if they can't see you." Zuko's eyebrow rose at the stupid statement but he decided to let it pass. Nodding in agreement he watched as Aang entered the area where his friends were. 

Zuko smiled to himself and thought about giving himself a pat on the back. This was his most genius plan ever. He couldn't believe no one in the group had figured out Aang's problem yet. He never thought puberty could be a tactical advantage. Not only would he get to watch the Avatar go though unimaginable discomfort and horror but he could take out all his little friends as well. His dad wouldn't kill or maim him; things were finally looking up in Zuko's world.

"NO WAY IN HELL!" This did not sound promising.


	6. Zuko is a tool

**A/N: Friends tell friends the correct meaning of puberty. Zuko is nobody's friend.**

**Avatar belongs to Mike, Bryan, and Nickelodeon. **

Zuko stood completely still. He had to. He was now encased in a mound of earth thanks to Toph. He supposed this was a better fate than what Katara had had in mind. She had tried to drown him. That was going to make their working relationship a little awkward. 

Zuko used the time in his cage to observe his new companions. While there were many quirks to the group, he came away with two main observations. One, they were very protective of one another and were closer than many families he had seen. Two, they did not like him. 

He was so lost in his deep and meaningful thoughts that he almost missed the fact Aang was now standing right beside him. He might not have noticed if it hadn't been for that smell drifting off the Avatar. "GuYS ListEN! I knOw Zuko hasn't reallY EvER BeEN NicE to uS..." 

"He's tried to kill us more then once." Katara's expression was very dark. 

"But hE WanTS to HElp us noW!" 

"Excuse me Aang, but may I ask what happened to make you so trusting of our angry nemesis here?" Sokka asked poking Zuko's face with his boomerang. Zuko glared at him thinking how lucky Sokka was he was incased in a large pile of dirt right now. Otherwise there would be some major burninating going on right now. 

"It'S coMpLicaTEd." 

"Well uncomplicate it!" Katara screeched. She flew in Aang's face, all fury and indignation. It made all of her skin turn an adorable shade of purple. "No good can come of this! Your obsession to make new friends is getting out of control! He will burn us in our sleep!" 

Aang was having a hard time concentrating on the words coming out of Katara's mouth. The fact that she had braved his stench to get up in his face and berate him like an angry mother was too much for his love-sopped heart. Gee wilikers, she sure was beautiful! He liked her angry face best. It was the one she wore most often, so it was the one he was most familiar with. It was like coming home to a roaring fire in the fire place. And speaking of fire, it was getting warm. Too warm. Especially in the area below his stomach. He turned dazedly to stare at Zuko, thinking that somehow the prince had broken free and stated a fire. But the prince remained rooted in the dirt. 

Aang looked around at his other companions to see if they could feel the heat too. Toph seemed to be getting bored with the crisis in front of her and had started to pick at a scab on her elbow. Katara was yelling. Sokka was looking at Aang like he wasn't sure if he should kill him or not, and Zuko was turning a weird color. It was almost like the prince was trying to hold something in. 

"Aang." Sokka interrupted Katara in mid rant. "What the hell?!" Aang was confused. Zuko couldn't hold it in anymore and let loose with a laugh that would scare most babies. Katara, who was now angry she had been interrupted, turned her attention to her brother. 

"Sokka! You shouldn't interrupt! I was explaining to Aang," at this point she turned back to look at the airbender to unnecessarily remind her brother who she was talking about, but Sokka jumped in front of him. 

"Katara! Wouldn't you like to go for a walk right now? Pick some flowers, braid your hair?" 

"No, I want you to shut up so I can yell at Aang some more." 

Sokka grabbed Katara's arm, and simultaneously pushed Aang into the pot of cold water waiting to be boiled for dinner. Water spilled everywhere. 

"SOKKA! Now I have to go get some more. At this rate, we'll never have dinner! Why are you so clumsy?" 

Sokka adopted a penitent look. "Gosh, Katara, I'm so sorry. Why don't I go with you to the stream, and you can yell at me for my clumsy ways." 

Katara looked reasonably mollified at this suggestion. "Fine." She went to go get Aang out of the waterless pot, but Sokka beat her to it. He flipped Aang out of the pot and face first into ground. Aang stifled a moan. Zuko was laughing so hard by now, he was crying. Toph had fallen asleep. 

Sokka grabbed Katara's arm again and dragged her out of the campsite, "Come on Katara! The quicker we can get the water, the quicker we can eat." As he pushed her into the trees, he looked back at Aang and whispered, "Go for a looooooooooooong walk, buddy! Clear your head, and relax... everything!" And he disappeared into the trees, leaving Aang with Zuko and the conked out Toph. 

Aang sat up and glared into the woods. What had just happened? The feeling was gone but he was still confused. Why had Sokka gone crazy? And speaking of crazy... 

"That was CLASSIC!" Zuko took a few deep breaths to calm himself. He didn't remember the last time he had laughed so hard. Aang looked at the prince. 

"What iS GoiNG oN? FirST my voicE GoEs UP now THis? WHaT next?! Will my arms stART movINg of thEIr oWN frEE WiLL?" Zuko, who had managed to calm down some by this point, lost control again. 

"I never knew this could be so much fun!" 

"JuST tell me WhAT WronG with mE, you SaID you WOUld!" 

"Let me out of this giant earth pile and I will." 

"I dON't tHinK I sHOuld. You can teLL me FRoM theRE." 

Zuko's grin froze on his face. It stayed that way for a moment, and then it became a sly, crafty, tricksy grin. Aang, however, didn't realize this. It was just another scary Zuko grin to him. 

"Fine. Sit down. This is going to take awhile ' 

Aang sat down at the base of Zuko's prison, and crossed his legs, eager for the answers he so desperately sought. 

"Aang, you are experiencing...puberty. It starts innocuously enough with wet sheets in the morning, but after a few hours, it should have cleared up. How long have you been exhibiting symptoms?" 

"A fEW daYS." 

Zuko's eyes went wide in surprise. He made a clicking noise with his tongue. "Not good. Not good at all. It explains why your bending has been less than effective against my awesomeness." 

"WhAT haPPEns WHen it GOeS for THis LoNG?" 

"I'm not quite sure. Nobody has survived long enough for them to document a case." 

"HUh????" 

"You see most people whose puberty goes beyond wet sheets die within nine hours and forty-five minutes. I suppose the only reason you're still alive is because you're the Avatar. I don't know how long you still have to live." 

"HoW dO you know so MuCH about tHIs?" Aang was slightly suspicious. 

"My best friend had it. I don't like to talk about it." Zuko managed to look some what sad. "What are your other symptoms?" 

"Well there's my vOICe..." Aang cleared his throat trying to regain some dignity. 

"I had noticed that. It's caused by the puberty eating away at your vocal cords. Soon you won't be able to talk at all." Aang grabbed his throat and let out a squeak of panic. "It's probably a good idea not to open your mouth so much any more. Puberty tends to speed up when it has sunlight and fresh air." 

Aang snapped his jaw shut. 

"What other symptoms have you experienced?" 

Aang opened his mouth to answer, but closed it when he remembered that it let sunlight in. He was going to have to get creative. He stood up and rubbed his head. 

"Dandruff?" 

Aang shook his head. He tried to comb his hair with his fingers, pretending it was longer. 

"You've started French braiding?" 

Aang shook his head again. He was getting nowhere. But then he had an idea. He walked up to Zuko and pulled a strand of the prince's hair out. 

"OW! What are you doing? That hurt!" 

Aang threw Zuko a look saying, "You're a big baby." Zuko clammed up. Aang waved the strand of hair in front of Zuko's face. 

"Hair?" 

A huge smile broke out on Aang's face. He nodded. He took the piece of hair and shoved it down his pants. 

"HEY! Show a little respect! That was on my head five seconds ago!" 

Aang ignored Zuko's protests and started gesturing to his lower abdomen. He then pantomimed hair growing out of the area. Zuko knew what he was getting at, but decided to play dumb to screw with him some more. In the Fire Nation Zuko had been crowned charades champion three years in a row, a title he had only lost because of his banishment. 

"I don't get it." 

Aang threw up his hands in frustration and made a move to pull his pants off. 

"Wait! I think I understand! You're growing pubic hair?" 

Aang nodded. He grabbed Zuko's shirt collar and shook it, silently demanding an answer. 

"Well, it seems like you let in too much sunlight. When puberty gets too much sun it starts developing a fungus. Sometimes it starts growing there; sometimes it starts in your armpits. It will spread from there. Let's hope it didn't start in both places." 

Aang whipped off his shirt like it was on fire, and went cross-eyed trying to peer at his armpits. He saw black fuzz covering them. 

"Uh oh. I've never heard it starting in both places. Well the best thing you can do is to scratch them as often as possible. It helps remove the fungus." 

Aang threw one hand down his pants and one over an armpit and started a vigorous scratch. 

Zuko couldn't believe how easy this was. "Now what other problems do you have?" 

Pointing to his nose, Aang started sniffing. "Are you having sinus trouble? That could just be allergies." Aang rolled his eyes and let out a large breath. "You've become very windy? That's gas." Zuko watched in amusement as the Avatar started to get red with frustration.

Zuko only decided to put an end to his ignorance when Aang decided to lift up his arm pit to share his smell with Zuko. "Wait! Put that thing down. You're starting to smell, right?" Aang lowered his arm and nodded. "That's just because puberty is killing you. The younger boy's eyes got wide. "You're starting to smell like death. Most people die a few minutes after the puberty starts to smell." 

Waiting a second for his statement to sink in, Zuko pushed the Avatar slightly more towards the edge. 

"Is there anything else?" 

Filled with dread, Aang pantomimed getting a stiffy. Zuko nodded sagely, "Rigor mortis. It starts wherever puberty fungus is most prevalent. It's extremely uncomfortable because that sort of stuff isn't supposed to kick in until you're dead. It happened around Katara too. She's a healer, right? Your body must have sensed that and made a desperate cry for help. You shouldn't suppress it. Katara may be able to heal you. She has this special water -" 

Zuko stopped as Aang flew in his face, a silent question burning across his features. 

"Oh, how do I know about the water? Well, when Katara and I were trapped in the cave - alone, for an extended period of time - among other 'activities' she offered to heal my scar with her mojo water." 

Aang looked livid. Zuko threw on a look of wide-eyed incredulity. "You mean she didn't tell you about our time together down there? I don't see why not. It's not as if we did anything unnatural down there. We are teenagers filled with raging hormones - I mean, what really could happen?" 

Aang lifted his arms to airbend Zuko into the next nation. Instead of the mighty rushing wind, all he got was a small breeze that ruffled the Prince's hair. Looking annoyed Zuko try to blow a stray hair Aang had managed to get into his eye. "Are you done now?" 

Dropping to the ground in defeat Aang nodded. "One more gust like that and I won't try and help you through this. Now what were we talking about?" Zuko watched the Avatar jump up from his sitting position and glare at him. "OH! that's right. Hormones." He ignored the now bewildered look on Aang's face and continued. 

"Normal teenagers have hormones...lots and lots of hormones. Some even seem to have more than others - your friend wearing the tight pants for instance. Someone going through puberty though, has more hormones than one body can handle." Aang went white. "Your Avatar body probably has more then anyone else has ever. I wonder if they're what are keeping you alive?" 

Zuko's musing was cut short with the arrival of Sokka through the trees. "What do you mean you can't find the path?" he asked over his shoulder, "I think it's somewhere to your left!" 

There was a sound of something walking into a tree, and then some not so muted swearing from Katara. "Sokka! Why did you push me off the path in the first place?" 

As Sokka ran past Aang he whispered, "She'll be here any minute. Did you get yourself under control?" Aang's nod was lost on Sokka as he called from the opposite end of camp, "Katara! Try circling back a few feet and heading to your right." 

As Katara struggled through the underbrush, Sokka ran into the woods in an opposite direction. Soon Katara burst through the trees carrying the cooking pot. She swooped past Aang and Zuko to plop the pot on the fire. Soon Sokka came crashing back out of the trees. "Oh good! You made it out Katara!" 

"No thanks to you! It was almost as if you ran away from me and tried to get me lost." 

"Ha-ha! Good one. Why would I want to do that?" 

Katara looked shrewdly from her brother's overly innocent face, to Aang's attempt at casually looking casual, to Zuko's malicious grin then she said, "I'm not sure I want to know."

As she stomped away in frustration Aang couldn't help but feel the same stirring below. Now that he knew it was just a sign of his imminent death he started to panic. Remembering Zuko's advice, he rushed after her. He stepped in front of her to block her exit.

"What do you want, Aang?"

Making sure not to talk, Aang pointed to his nether regions and began to scratch.


	7. The mysteries of MANHOOD

**A/N: We love Sokka. We also wish all puberty talks were this awesome.**

**Avatar belongs to Mike, Bryan, and Nickelodeon**

Aang turned on his side and scratched his armpit. He had been banished from the campsite after sharing his burning need with Katara. He couldn't put his finger on why, but he was pretty sure Zuko hadn't told him the truth about puberty. He'd wanted to ask Sokka about it, but Sokka was the one who had thrown Aang out of camp amid the sounds of Katara's crying, Zuko's laughter, and Toph's snores.

Aang directed his scratching to his other armpit. Hopefully everything would look better in the morning...if puberty hadn't killed him first.

Suddenly he tensed as the bushes nearest to him rustled. Remembering that he could no longer bend, he grabbed a twig to defend himself. He waited silently for his attacker to appear.

Sokka's head poked out of the undergrowth. Aang let out a sigh of relief and said, "SoKkA? What are you DoINg heRe?"

Sokka looked at Aang gravely and held a finger up to his lips. He stepped from the bushes, and Aang noticed he was bare-chested and painted head to toe in intricate designs. He made a solemn bow to Aang, and then turned to the empty space next him waiting for something. The space remained empty.

Sokka snaked a hand into the bushes and dragged Zuko out by his ear. Zuko wore a surly expression and crossed his arms over his chest. Sokka motioned for Aang to get up and follow them.

They led Aang to a rock beside the stream. Sokka held up a branch. Nothing happened. Sokka looked at Zuko. Nothing happened. Sokka waved the branch in front of Zuko's face. Nothing happened. Sokka beamed Zuko over the head with his boomerang. The branch burst into flame. Sokka set the torch in a clump of mud so it could illuminate the surrounding area. Then he began to speak.

"Aang, we come here tonight on the eve of you becoming...a Man! It has come to my attention that you have started The Change." Aang looked bewilderedly at Zuko, but the prince refused to make eye contact. Sokka continued, "It has also come to my attention that you received false information about The Change." Sokka threw a dirty look at Zuko who smirked. "It is time we righted those wrongs and cleared up your confusion. But first, we must all strip to our loincloths and paint our bodies. This is the manly way of doing things!"

Aang was mesmerized by the power in Sokka's voice. Without realizing it, he tore off his shirt and removed his pants. Then he knelt reverently before Sokka, who was holding a pot filled with paste. Sokka smiled down at Aang, but then frowned when he realized Zuko hadn't moved. "We must _all_ don the paint of the warrior," he said, "Only then can we come into a circle of peace and trust."

"Nothing doing."

Sokka's serene look didn't leave his face as he said to Aang, "One moment please, and then we will commence with your studies." He walked over to Zuko, placed his hand on the prince's shoulder, and before Aang knew what happened, Zuko was face down in the dirt beside him with only his loincloth on.

Aang looked at Sokka with a new reverence. "How dID yoU...?" He pointed at the newly mostly nude, Zuko.

"You will learn with time young pupil. It is all a part of Manhood. Now let's get your face painted!" Sokka helped Aang glop on the paste as Zuko righted himself into a sitting position and glared.

"You may have been able to freakishly take off my clothes but I am NOT putting that on my face."

"Oh, I think you are." Sokka slid a bowl over to the Prince.

"You can't make me."

Sokka put the finishing touches on Aang's' manly makeup before he turned to Zuko. "I might not be able to bend, but Aang will be up and running before you know it. I'll just have him kick your ass. He'll probably want to do it too, once he hears what's REALLY happening to him. Also if you don't, I'll wear my new pants all day every day you're with us."

Shuddering as he thought of the tight clothing Zuko dipped his fingers into the purple goo and smeared it on his forehead.

"Now we're ready to begin," said Sokka. "Why don't you give Aang the good news, Zuko?"

Zuko clamped his lips shut. Sokka stepped on Zuko's foot. Zuko unclamped his lips. "Hey!" Sokka gave Zuko the hairy eyeball, and Zuko said, "Fine, you're not dying Aang."

"I'm NOt?"

"No."

"BuT yoU sAId..."

Sokka interrupted, "He was lying to you. Screwing with your head. Weaving a web so tangled that it will take a master to unravel his deceit and mystery. I am that master! I'm only sad I missed the signs."

"There were pretty obvious pretty boy."

"Quiet you! Now about puberty. Puberty is the mystical transformation that happens to everyone. It is different for girls and boys. What happens to females is a mystery I have yet to solve."

"Good luck," muttered Zuko.

"BuT If it isn't a DiSeaSE, then WHat is iT?"

"It is where you change from a boy to a Man!"

Aang looked confused, so Sokka racked his brain to find an explanation. "Well, look at you. Scrawny, tiny, a pipsqueak, a teensy weensy-"

"I geT the IdEa!"

"Right. Well, compare that to me and Prince Pouty Pants over there. We are rugged, deep voiced men with hair. We command respect, and if we don't get it we take it by force for WE ARE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!"

"You have an odd flare for the dramatic," Zuko said.

"QUIET! But do you see where I'm going with this Aang. You see the difference?"

"I gUeSs."

"Well you are in the midst of the change from scrawnikins to beefcake."

"So all tHIS...?"

"Perfectly natural."

"WhaT about mY BEndINg?"

"Why do you think I brought Zuko? So he could sit there half naked and glare?" The two boys turned their gazes to the angry prince. "Tell him. Tell him or the pants are coming back on!"

Zuko shuddered. "You'll be able to bend again."

"ReaLLy?"

"Yes. Your body is changing and so is your bending."

Aang thought about it for a second as he scratched a fuzzy armpit. "So my beNding is goINg thRouGH PuberTY toO?"

"That's one way to look at it." Zuko shrugged.

"How long will tHIs laSt?" The question was directed to both of his puberty masters.

Sokka shook his head. "No idea little buddy. It might be a couple of months it might be a year. Some people are still going through it." He tried to subtly point to Zuko.

"SO my voice sQuEAks beCausE iT is deePeNinG? AND mY HaIR iS grOWinG iN..."

"Because that's what hair does, it grows," snapped Zuko.

"BuT oNLy on BoYS? I haven'T noTicEd aNY hAIrY GiRLs."

"That's because girls shave off their hair, for a smooth feeling. And some guys shave, especially guys who have hairy backs," said Sokka. Aang jerked his head around to lay the fish eye on his back - lucky for him it was hairless...for now. Sokka continued, "And some guys shave their chests, but that's because they prefer to look like girls." Again he pointed at Zuko. "Me, I prefer to be as nature intended - hot and hairy."

"BuT YOu don't hAVE anY chEst hAiR."

"That's because he's not manly enough to grow it," Zuko interjected helpfully.

Before Sokka could pound Zuko's face into the ground, Aang continued, "BuT WhAT abouT my SteNcH?"

"Yes, we can't forget about the stench," Sokka said while giving Zuko the evil eye. "Puberty makes you smell. It's your body's defense against girls."

"WhAt?"

"You may have noticed you want to be around girls more, girls like my sister." Aang blushed. "But puberty is a time you shouldn't be around them. You can't speak well, you itch a lot, and you can't control body parts." He looked at the Avatar knowingly. "This is  
your body's way of saying 'Whoa bud, let's back up for a second.' But when you're done with puberty BAM! the smell goes away. Then all the girls, who you've been ignoring, are all in awe at your new kickin' bod and deep deep voice. They don't know where it came from and you become mysterious. Girls love mystery in relationships."

Aang was starting to understand. "WiLL being the AVAtar affect this in anY WAY?"

"That's a stupid question. How the hell would we know?" Zuko found himself on the wrong end of a boomerang once again.

"Well hopefully your body will be able to restore balance a lot quicker since you are the physical embodiment of balance," Sokka said as he withdrew his boomerang from Zuko's stomach.

"Oh." Aang thought for a moment and said, "AbOUt what HapPeNEd eARlier...wITH kaTArA?"

A brief look of utter panic crossed Sokka's face, but he masked it quickly. "Yes, well, um, you see when a boy and a girl like each other..." He looked to Zuko for help, but found none. "They, become one."

"WhAT?" Aang looked horrified. "I'Ve nEveR seEN aNy hAlf-Boy HaLF-giRLs...I tHiNk."

"Not become a horrifying mutant creature...but...umm...you know...become ONE." Sokka entwined his fingers trying to make what he was saying to Aang clearer.

"I don't unDERstaNd."

"Of course you don't. This idiot is doing a horrible job." Zuko rolled his eyes.

"Do YOU want to do this?!"

"Not really."

"Then SHUT UP!" Sokka cleared his throat and turned back to the younger boy. "You see Aang when a man and a woman love each other and are in a very permanent committed relationship, preferably married," Zuko let out a cough. Sokka glared at the Prince before he continued. "They make the choice to..."

Half an hour later Aang's world had been turned upside down.


	8. Chchchanges!

**A/N: Avatar belongs to Mike, Bryan and Nickelodeon. **

Aang spent the next few days trying to avoid the girls in camp. Now that he understood - really understood - what was going on and how males and females 'connected,' he didn't want to be near them.

It would have been easier if Toph would quit trying to engage him in fights and Katara would stop insisting they talk about the emotional wall he was putting up. The more he tried to distance himself, the closer they got.

Sokka tried to help run interference as much as possible and Zuko did nothing but watch. The breaking point came late on the third day of avoidance. The boys were sitting staring into the fire and trying not to make eye contact. They were doing a damn good job when the girls came crashing out of no where. "Aang we need to talk to you!"

Sokka jumped up. "Now ladies I don't think that's the best idea right now. I mean, surely you've noticed the smell coming from him. It's not safe."

"Cram it Sokka, we don't want to hear anymore of your dumb excuses!" Toph knocked him onto his butt with a small wave of earth, and the two walked past Sokka and went straight for the panicking Avatar. "Have you been avoiding us? Katara was livid.

"Yeah Twinkle Toes, I understand why you'd want to avoid Katara, but why me?"

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"What do you think it means Ms. Bossy!"

"I am not! I'm just worried about Aang and his emotional well being!"

"You're just sore because he's not making goo-goo eyes at you any more."

"Goo-goo eyes?"

"Yeah, I may not be able to see them, but I can sure hear the goo-goo eyes in his voice when he talks to you. I bet they are all twinkly and big and he blushes. Am I right?"

"i dOn'T ThINk my eYEs-"

"I am not upset that Aang isn't making goo-goo eyes at me! But why aren't you making them, Aang? Did I do something wrong?" Katara's eyes welled up with tears.

"KaTArA, I-"

"Don't answer her Aang!" Sokka interrupted. "Remember our talk? Stay strong. You gotta wait until the stench clears. Katara, find someone else to make goo-goo eyes at you!"

"Who?"

"I don't know! Go stand in front of Zuko, and see if he notices you've got curves in all the right places."

"I am not going to go stand in front of-"

"ZUKO! Make goo-goo eyes for my sister, okay?"

"There is no way in hell that I would ever do that."

"You're going to make goo-goo eyes at her, and you're going to like doing it or you will find my boomerang shoved so far inside your skull-"

"How come no one makes goo-goo eyes for me?" asked Toph.

"Seriously?" asked Zuko. "YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO SEE THEM DOING IT!"

"EnOuGH!!!" yelled Aang. The chaos settled as every member of the group turned their heads to the young Avatar. "I'm SiCK of this! WhY cAN'T you all SHut uP?"

There was silence for a beat or two until Sokka felt the need to open his mouth "Wow Aang, you're sounding a lot like my Gran-gran...except, you know, the fluctuating voice."

Zuko didn't even bother trying to hide his laughter. Katara bit her lip in an attempt to not loose control herself during, what she considered, a very important break through in Aang's psyche.

Toph joined in the ribbing. "Hitting menopause a little early Twinkle Toes?"

"I doN'T knoW whAT thaT MEans but conSIDERing what'S BEen goINg oN with me, I proBABly aM."

Katara turned bright red and hid her head in her hands.

"Aang!" yelled Sokka., "Are you really that clueless? Do we need to have another Man Meeting to discuss what are and are not legitimate Man Maladies?"

"Count me out," said Zuko.

"WeLL hOw aM i SuppOSeD to kNoW wHaT-"

"Menopause!" laughed Toph. "That would explain so much." She fell to the ground laughing until Katara aimed a well placed kick at her.

Katara came over and put her hand on Aang's shoulder. Aang felt a familiar stirring and shot a look at Sokka. Sokka looked murderous and motioned that if Aang knew what was good for him he would back away from Katara.

Aang had about all he could take. Sokka kept trying to help/murder him, Zuko and Toph just mocked and laughed at him, and he couldn't be around the one person he wanted to because his stupid body kept betraying him. He looked over to Sokka who was reaching for his boomerang, and heard as Katara started yelling at her brother. Toph had started laughing again, and Zuko was smirking at the fighting siblings.

He took off. This whole thing was becoming ridiculous. Aang couldn't even remember the last time they talked about taking down the Fire Nation or the upcoming battle. Stupid puberty! He stopped running and took in his surroundings. He had no idea where he was but didn't give a crap. He needed a break from the others.

Gathering up some moss and the softest rock he could find, Aang made a nest that would make most squirrels envious. He sighed and tried to get comfortable in his new nature bed. The world around him slowly became dark as he fell asleep.

He awoke the next morning from a wonderful dream involving Katara and a lot of pink snow, feeling much better.

* * *

Aang walked into camp and noticed something. Everyone seemed to be tiny. That couldn't be right. But sure enough Tiny Sokka walked up to him and piped, "Hey Aang! What happened to you?"

"I WENT OFF TO - HEY! MY VOICE ISN'T SQUEAKING!" Aang boomed.

"Could you tone it down a bit there, stud?" asked Sokka, "I want to save some of my hearing for the ladies."

"SURE THI- I mean, sure thing," said Aang as he adjusted his new voice.

"Who is that?" asked Katara in a slightly dazed tone as she emerged from her sleeping bag. She stared dreamily up at Aang which made Aang realize that she was staring up at him, and not the other way round like normal.

"Aang, is that you?" she asked.

"Of course it's me-" but he was interrupted when she turned bright red and began giggling in a nervous, fluttery sort of way. "What's the matter with you?"

"Who sounds like sex?" asked Toph as she emerged from her tent. She walked towards Aang, but stopped abruptly. "Twinkle Toes?" And if she was going to say anything else it was lost as she also began twittering uncontrollably.

"What's up with them?" asked Aang, vaguely noticing that his extra hair wasn't itching anymore.

Sokka rolled his eyes at Aang. You haven't noticed anything 'different' about your self today?"

"Not really. You've all gotten much smaller...oh, and for some reason my clothes are a lot tighter then they were a couple of hours ago."

"I'll say." Katara giggled at him.

"Hey Aang I was...Oops!" Toph suddenly became clumsy again and was forced to catch herself on Aang's thighs. He waited for her to move her hands, but she started squeezing his leg instead.

"TOPH!" Katara was seething.

"What I fell! I'm blind, these things happen!"

"Bullsh-"

"Hey Aang," Toph interrupted "you seem to smell of fresh baked pie."

"Move over Toph! I want to smell him!"

"Neither of you should try to smell him," said Sokka, "he's like ten years older than you both now. He could be your father!"

"My father doesn't look this good," said Toph.

"How do you know what either of them look like?" asked Sokka.

"Female intuition."

"Would somebody please tell me what everyone is screaming about at this un-godly hour?" A mussed Zuko joined the group from seemingly nowhere.

"Aang has had a breakthrough in puberty! He is now a Man!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sokka looked proud, like he had personally taken a part in it.

Zuko stared up at the Avatar. He whistled softly between his teeth, "Lucky bastard," he muttered, and then went to go glower in the corner.

"Sokka, so you have any extra clothing I could borrow? I feel like I'm about to burst out of mine any second," said Aang. Toph and Katara swayed on the spot, and plopped down on the ground, their knees reduced to jelly.

"I don't know, buddy," said Sokka, "I think my clothes may be a little small for you too."

"But what am I going to wear?"

"Nothing?" asked the girls hopefully.

Sokka's eyes lit up, "To the Fire Nation Mall...Again! I can get a hat to go with my awesome pants."

THE END

**Moral of the story: There are complications that come at every age in your life, so don't be in a hurry to grow up too fast. Stay in school…and don't do drugs. thumbs up**


End file.
